2000 Candles

2000 Candles

Dennis the Small wanted to pray,

But when should he do it? What’s the best day?

So he made up a calendar, He figured it out.

Dennis was pious, He just couldn’t count.

Jesus was born on such and such day,

The Liturgical schedule worked best that way.

The Pope said, "That’s Cool, we’ll send this one out,

And Burn anyone who thinks there’s some doubt.

2000 Candles on a birthday cake,

Earth and Sky begin to quake.

Jesus was born, Time began

Christmas trees, Honey Baked Ham.

Everyone thought so, So it’s the Truth

Ask almost anyone, if you want proof.

Numbers don’t lie, the scientists say,

Or just ask God; He’ll show you the way.

2000 candles but none to grow on,

It’s got them so spooked, They can’t seem to Go On.

Circle the wagons, Shut down computers,

Save Ammunition, Kill all commuters.

The end of the world as we know it is Nigh,

One thing is true, All extremists must die.

The Righteous are saved, and Hell’s for the Vandals,

So just make a wish, and blow out the candles.

2000 Candles on a birthday cake

Earth and Sky begin to quake.

Jesus was born, And time commenced.

Dennis was small, and a little bit dense.